Not My Home
Never in my life did I imagine that I would be living in a country not my own 6 days into a countrywide civil unrest. When I fell in love with my Bolivian husband in the heart of Rome I didn't think that we would be living in South America in a city of over 4 million people raising our now 5 year old little girl. I had no way of knowing that I would be 3 months into being a 5th grade teacher at a Christian school in Santa Cruz, Bolivia when the General Elections here took place on October 20th. What I am saying is this is not the life I planned.
While, I have lived here in Santa Cruz, Bolivia for a year and 4 months this is not my home. I have however begun to feel more at home, as I have made friends, picked up Spanish and adapted to the many cultural differences that make Bolivia, Bolivia. I definitely know my husband and his family better and I love that our daughter is fluent not only in my mother tounge, but that of her papá as well. The experiences and time we have had here are invaluable and will forever be a part of our story.
A story that will be deeply impacted by the events of the past week. There is no way to know what the future holds for Bolivia. What I do know is that my friends and family here are in day 6 of a country divided by civil disobedience. It is hard to tell you with any certainty what the truth of the situation is from moment to moment as reports are varied and while some are truth others are lies. I do not want to add to any confusion, so I am only speaking from my own perspective and experiences over this past week. In fact I write, not so much for your benifit as for mine, because I need an outlet to process all of what is going on around me.
Since the General Election a week ago Sunday things have been much different here. On Monday things were fairly normal, but then as the count of the ballots came in and their was a question of fraud raised across mass media things shifted quickly. Those who are ready for a change from the current President Evo Morales cried out for justice, for democracy to be upheld while those who are part of the MAS party held to their stance that nothing was out of order. I would say the majority of the country quickly united in a peaceful fight for democracy. Bolivians in every major city here and around the World have united to proclaim, enough is enough.
But when you are fighting for freedom from dictatorship (disguised as democracy) words are not enough. In cities across the country the people hit the streets setting up blockades at every major intersection. Everyone quit driving, public transport except for emergency vehicles and trash trucks stopped being used. People moved to using bikes, and their legs to get around. All work (except a few mom and pop shops and in home eateries) closed their doors and schools have been cancelled. In essence life as we knew it has stopped.
Our days are lazy, we pass the time at home, or walking the streets. We join our neighbors in raising our voices in prayer and song, in shouts and cries for freedom and justice. We pray, we watch, we wait. For me it is the waiting that is wearing on me. The not knowing what is next. Being unable to plan for the future, even the next day, because the situation while thankfully fairly stable and peaceful in Santa Cruz. (In most ways resembling a citywide block party.)
This is not true of all areas of the country where things have been violent and clashes are spreading as things are constantly being questioned and ideas and fears are filling the news and social media platforms. I am not one to just sit around, so all this time to sit and wonder is unnerving.
I do not know what the future holds. I am not sure how long food will last, as we have already seen stores start to lack basics like bread and milk, I am not sure how long we will have power, water or inernet, I don't know how we can expect to go back to life as normal should that be an option in days to come. I am not even certain about tomorrow. I long for a plan, I long for peace. I want to know I can provide safety and security to for my kid, but I don't know that.
I am grateful that for the most part my kiddo has no clue what is going on around her. She just assumes with all the bike riding and people and flags in the street we are having a big party. Not a bad assumption based on the Bolivians affinity for a good party.
But sadly this is no party, and I honestly only see things getting much worse in the days to come. Rumors have it that President Morales has threatened and begun to cut off supplies to and from cities. There are rumors of widespread power cuts and water being shut off in cities who refuse to stop protesting. The people who are on the side of the MAS party have already begun to try to break through the blockades and start up fights and instill fear in the people who are trying to unite peacefully in the name of democracy.
I wish I could say that I see an easy solution to the problems we find ourselves living in, but I don't think that easy answers exist. I do believe that God is able. I am impressed and encouraged daily by the people's determination to trust in God, to turn to Him and call on His name in this time of great need. I however, know that God never promised an easy life, nor are we guaranteed a life of ease just because He is our God. What is true is that for those who believe in Him, this is not our Home.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, I don't know if we will remain here or need to leave, I don't even know if we could leave if we wanted to. But I do know a God who knows all this and more. I know that He has made His Home in my heart and that my Home is with Him.
While, I have lived here in Santa Cruz, Bolivia for a year and 4 months this is not my home. I have however begun to feel more at home, as I have made friends, picked up Spanish and adapted to the many cultural differences that make Bolivia, Bolivia. I definitely know my husband and his family better and I love that our daughter is fluent not only in my mother tounge, but that of her papá as well. The experiences and time we have had here are invaluable and will forever be a part of our story.
A story that will be deeply impacted by the events of the past week. There is no way to know what the future holds for Bolivia. What I do know is that my friends and family here are in day 6 of a country divided by civil disobedience. It is hard to tell you with any certainty what the truth of the situation is from moment to moment as reports are varied and while some are truth others are lies. I do not want to add to any confusion, so I am only speaking from my own perspective and experiences over this past week. In fact I write, not so much for your benifit as for mine, because I need an outlet to process all of what is going on around me.
Since the General Election a week ago Sunday things have been much different here. On Monday things were fairly normal, but then as the count of the ballots came in and their was a question of fraud raised across mass media things shifted quickly. Those who are ready for a change from the current President Evo Morales cried out for justice, for democracy to be upheld while those who are part of the MAS party held to their stance that nothing was out of order. I would say the majority of the country quickly united in a peaceful fight for democracy. Bolivians in every major city here and around the World have united to proclaim, enough is enough.
But when you are fighting for freedom from dictatorship (disguised as democracy) words are not enough. In cities across the country the people hit the streets setting up blockades at every major intersection. Everyone quit driving, public transport except for emergency vehicles and trash trucks stopped being used. People moved to using bikes, and their legs to get around. All work (except a few mom and pop shops and in home eateries) closed their doors and schools have been cancelled. In essence life as we knew it has stopped.
Our days are lazy, we pass the time at home, or walking the streets. We join our neighbors in raising our voices in prayer and song, in shouts and cries for freedom and justice. We pray, we watch, we wait. For me it is the waiting that is wearing on me. The not knowing what is next. Being unable to plan for the future, even the next day, because the situation while thankfully fairly stable and peaceful in Santa Cruz. (In most ways resembling a citywide block party.)
This is not true of all areas of the country where things have been violent and clashes are spreading as things are constantly being questioned and ideas and fears are filling the news and social media platforms. I am not one to just sit around, so all this time to sit and wonder is unnerving.
I do not know what the future holds. I am not sure how long food will last, as we have already seen stores start to lack basics like bread and milk, I am not sure how long we will have power, water or inernet, I don't know how we can expect to go back to life as normal should that be an option in days to come. I am not even certain about tomorrow. I long for a plan, I long for peace. I want to know I can provide safety and security to for my kid, but I don't know that.
I am grateful that for the most part my kiddo has no clue what is going on around her. She just assumes with all the bike riding and people and flags in the street we are having a big party. Not a bad assumption based on the Bolivians affinity for a good party.
But sadly this is no party, and I honestly only see things getting much worse in the days to come. Rumors have it that President Morales has threatened and begun to cut off supplies to and from cities. There are rumors of widespread power cuts and water being shut off in cities who refuse to stop protesting. The people who are on the side of the MAS party have already begun to try to break through the blockades and start up fights and instill fear in the people who are trying to unite peacefully in the name of democracy.
I wish I could say that I see an easy solution to the problems we find ourselves living in, but I don't think that easy answers exist. I do believe that God is able. I am impressed and encouraged daily by the people's determination to trust in God, to turn to Him and call on His name in this time of great need. I however, know that God never promised an easy life, nor are we guaranteed a life of ease just because He is our God. What is true is that for those who believe in Him, this is not our Home.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, I don't know if we will remain here or need to leave, I don't even know if we could leave if we wanted to. But I do know a God who knows all this and more. I know that He has made His Home in my heart and that my Home is with Him.
Comments
Post a Comment